Somehow, Tampa Bay is Now a Breeding Ground for National Spelling Champions

Following the thrilling tiebreaker victory of  12-year-old seventh-grader Bruhat Soma from Tampa to claim the championship in the 2024 Scripps National Spelling Bee last night, subsequent to Largo’s Dev Shah winning the title in the 2023 event, Tampa Bay is apparently now the unlikely national home of a burgeoning spelling dynasty.

This, in spite of a local environment that might not seem to lend itself to producing students who excel in any kind of academic pursuits. 

“I can’t say I’m surprised. We’re smart here,” said St. Petersburg resident Eric Klaptern while standing waist-deep in a freshwater pond at dusk and waving a golf club over his head to chase away incoming thunderstorm clouds.

“Our most recent champions aren’t the Bucs or Lightning, it’s these two young gentlemen, bringing long-overdue credit to the Tampa Bay intelligentsia,” said Tampa’s Carol Switz on her phone while driving her BMW in the center lane of Dale Mabry with her right turn signal on, preparing to execute a left turn. 

Asked to offer comment, Florida Governor Ron DeSantis said, “Well yeah, but both of those kids are Asian, aren’t they?”

Asked what that had to do with anything, he responded by saying, “Nothing”, hanging up his phone, turning the lights off in his office and crawling beneath his desk.