Tampa League Completes Presidential Fantasy Draft

A group of local men, dressed as their favorite politicians, gathered in the conference room of a nearby Chase Bank to participate in this year’s presidential fantasy draft.

“All right, Brian picked the Green Party’s Howie Hawkins and Angela Nicole Walker in 2020 and finished dead last so he has the first pick this time,” said league commissioner Terry Flirps. “Brian, you’re on the clock.”

Brian Effbaumb immediately replied with, “Harris and Walz. I’ll take them.”

Joe Ruegern, with the second pick said, “Then I guess I’ll take Trump and Vance.”

“Okay, that completes the draft,” said Commissioner Flirps. “Thanks for coming. Take some of those chicken wings home with you.”

“I keep telling you guys we should conduct the draft before the primaries, so there are more options,” grumbled Mike Weeters, who didn’t get to make a selection.

“Why? Who would you have chosen if that was the case?” queried the Commissioner.

“I don’t know. Kennedy? DeSantis? Haley?” replied Weeters.

“Why not Bernie Sanders again? Haw haw,” said Effbaum, chiming in. “How did that work out for you? Haw haw!”

“Shut up, Brian,” responded Weeters bitterly. 

“Right. So you would have lost anyway,” said the Commissioner. “Look how much time we saved.

When asked how this qualified as a fantasy league and not just a bet between two men choosing opposing presidential candidates, the Commissioner said, “the fantasy is that we own and control elected officials instead of the other way around.”