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Tampa Man Expects to Win Woman’s Love With Extravagant Gift

Dave Dickston of Tampa, a self-employed man with a good job, feels like he’s purchased a Valentine’s Day gift that will finally get a woman he’s interested in to fall in love with him.

“No more stuffed animals from a tent along the side of the road or boxes of candy from CVS, no sir,” he said. “This year I went all out; all out to outer space, that is!”

Dickston has purchased the naming rights to a star through a web site that claims to be allowed to do that and issues a fairly official-looking certificate to customers.

When asked which star, he pointed upward and said, “That one, probably. I don’t know for sure. Some of the details weren’t very clear. I asked for a big, bright one though and they didn’t hesitate to say no problem.”

“Does it matter?” said an unnamed sales representative for Heres Ur, a company operating from a phone room in India. “Because I can tell you strictly from a legal standpoint, it does not.”

Dickston said the object of his affection and the lucky lady who will receive the gift for which he paid $45 is a woman named Jenny.

“No, I said ‘any’. I honestly don’t care who it is at this point. I just want a girlfriend,” he said. “And if this doesn’t work, it’ll just confirm that all women are just stuck-up bitches and I’ll own a star. So win-win.”

Clark Brooks

About Clark Brooks

Senior Supreme Executive Premium Content Editor for Tampa News Force. Comedian, writer and ordained minister. Twitter: @ClarkBrooks | Instagram:@ClarkBrooks54