Tampa Man Still Has Prime Day Decorations On Display
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In spite of online mega retailer Amazon’s ersatz retail sales holiday “Prime Day” ending a week ago, Tampa’s Brian Grubhubber still has his decorations on full display and has no plans to take them down.
“I just love Prime Day so much,” he said, standing next to a pile of Amazon packages presented festively in the middle of his living room. “I get these feelings of love and happiness and being fulfilled that I don’t experience in the rest of my life. Can you blame me for wanting that to last year-round?”
“I don’t know if you’ve ever noticed but that arrow at the bottom of the Amazon logo is a smile,” he said gesturing to the Amazon sweater he was wearing that he purchased from Amazon. “That’s so nice!”
“Oh, so I leave my Christmas lights up a few days into the New Year and I get a letter from my homeowners association but this guy can have a shrine to mindless, unnecessary gluttonous consumerism and it’s okay? That’s not right,” said disgruntled neighbor Hubert Grettel. “And I mean on multiple levels.”
“Unneccesary? We’ll see if he still feels that way when he sees this,” said Grubhubber in response, showing off an hourglass timer filled with purple sand that he bought for just $16.97 with next day delivery.