Tampa Man Surprised to See His Neighbors This Morning

Following the election of Donald Trump as the 47th President of the United States last night, Tim Gorp was surprised to see that his neighbors, John and Helen Burtwich, who supported Kamala Harris’s campaign, still exist.

“I came outside for the first time since yesterday to get the paper and read anll about our glorious victory, our first step in getting our country back on track,” he said. “I looked over at what I was sure would be at least an empty house if not a smoldering crater and there they were, smiling and waving just like they are every morning.”

“John said, ‘morning, Tim’ and I replied ‘huh wha…?’ or something like that,” he said.

He said the level of contentiousness of this campaign led him to expect a sudden and drastic reaction from those on the losing side.

“People were so passionate about it and invested for like, the last four years. I don’t know exactly what I expected; maybe a Thanos finger-snap situation,” said Gorp. “I know if I had lost, I’d want that to happen to me. Because I talked a lot of shit leading up to the big day and I would not want to have to face the consequences of that.”

“But there’s John and Helen, just existing and going about their business like their lives aren’t ruined,” he said. “I knew they were weirdos based on how they vote but this is next level strange.”

“We’ve backed losing candidates before. It’s disappointing but life goes on,” said Helen. “Keith has some ideas we disagree with but he’s a good neighbor and ultimately we all have to live in this world together, regardless of our individual political opinions.”

“I almost feel bad for getting up early this morning and keying the shit out of his car,” she added.