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Tampa Man Trades Sports Car for Utility Truck





Tampa’s Gary Cornswaddle is trading in his 2023 Lamborghini Huracán for a 2015 Ford utility truck, believing that now is a good time to start driving a more practical vehicle. 

“Oh, it’s practical all right,” he said. “I’m practically going to have to fight off all the ass that gets thrown at me in this thing.”

His hope is to attract the attention of women who might assume that he’s one of the many workers currently in town to assist in the recovery after Hurricane Milton last week and Hurricane Helene just prior to that.

“The ladies just love men who help, and I’m going to help,” he said. “Help myself to all kinds of ass.”

He says he’s willing to go to considerable lengths to make the illusion appear convincingly legitimate.

“I’ll throw a ladder or something on there to complete the look. It’s not like I’m actually going to be doing any work,” he added. “Well, I’m going to be doing some work, but I won’t be working.”

If Cornswaddle’s ploy is unsuccessful, it won’t be due to a lack of self-confidence.

“I have the ability to turn anything into a sex metaphor; I can go all day,” he said. “And all night too.”

Clark Brooks

About Clark Brooks

Senior Supreme Executive Premium Content Editor for Tampa News Force. Comedian, writer and ordained minister. ClarkBrooks.com. Bluesky: @ClarkBrooks | Instagram:@ClarkBrooks54