Tampa Police Bust Underground Ballet Club

The Tampa Police Department (TPD) has broken up an underground ‘ballet club’, in which dancers gathered at parking garages, construction sites and the back rooms of various businesses to participate in and watch unsanctioned ballet performances. 

Officials say they have apprehended the promoters of these events, as well as several participants. 

“This is a major win in our ongoing effort to shut down unauthorized arts installations,” said TPD spokesperson Bill Bootch. “And we couldn’t have done it without the outstanding undercover work of detective Gustav Ramirez.”

“Detective Ramirez was specifically selected for this particular assignment and we knew he’d do a great job with it,” Bootch said. “Because he’s gay.”

“I’m just kidding; he isn’t gay. We just think it’s funny to say he is,” he added.

”You do realize that male ballet dancers exist, right? And that they’re not all homosexuals? I don’t know why anybody decided it was necessary for me to wear a tutu”, said Ramirez.

”I know, I know; ‘I’m gay’. Ha ha ha,” he added, sighing and rolling his eyes exasperatedly, eliciting laughter from the other officers assembled.