Tampa Restaurant Gives False Hope to Tens of Hungry People

The Oriental Express Chinese Sushi Restaurant at the corner of Jackson and Morgan in downtown Tampa mistakenly left their “OPEN” sign on, causing confusion and distress for hungry would-be customers last night.

“What… is… wrong… with… this… door,” grunted Mike Firschburn as he repeatedly tugged on an obviously locked door.

His friend Ted Steenblik peered through the window into the completely dark restaurant and said, “I don’t see anybody inside. Not one person. That doesn’t make sense. Who is cooking the food?”

”Maybe it’s the push kind,” said Firschburn, leaning heavily against the door. “Nope, that’s not it. Huh.”

“It’s 3AM and Yelp says they close at 10:30”, said Marla Cleem, another person who happened to be passing by and suddenly really wanted some chicken lo mein. “But the sign! The sign clearly says ‘OPEN’ and really stands out since all the other lights aren’t on. I don’t understand.”

“Do you think it’s possible they closed and just forgot to turn it off?,” asked her friend Tammy Woolve, starting to cry. “No, that’s crazy. They wouldn’t do that.”

“I’m gonna try that other door,” said Firschburn determinedly.