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Water Street Phase II Plans Announced

As preliminary construction begins on the much-anticipated second phase of downtown Tampa’s Water Street begins, details of what will be included are starting to leak out. 

“It’s going to be a car wash,” said car wash owner Ba’hbi ‘Bobbi’ Bogdan. “A great big one.”

“I certainly hope there’s at least one Norwegian-Peruvian fusion restaurant,” said Water Street resident Grethe Gutierrez. “There’s a disturbing lack of that cuisine in the Tampa Bay Area.”

“Nope,” said Bogdan. “Just one really big car wash.”

”Let’s just hope it’s not yet another car wash,” said Luther Strings, during a break in his workout at Crunch Fitness. “Who decided we need all these fucking car washes?”

”Ha ha! That’s a good question,” responded Bogdan. “I don’t know the answer, but I’m the owner of this one and I promise it will be the biggest in town. And the best!”

“Some reasonably priced family residences would be nice”, said Todd Pruner, who is considering moving with his wife and kids to Tampa from Boston.

“I can’t be more clear about the fact that the entire development will consist of nothing but one extremely expansive facility that washes cars,” said Bogdan. “No oil changes, no stereo installation. Just washing. 

“Inside and out, sure, but just the washing,” he added.

“All I know is that there was so much thought put into amenities in phase one, especially for pet owners,” said Theresa Glibbons, while walking her labradoodle named Winston. “I’m sure phase two will be just as great if not better.”

“I don’t know who thinks washing a dog in a car wash is anything but cruel and egregious mistreatment,” said Bogdan. “What is wrong with people?”

Clark Brooks

About Clark Brooks

Senior Supreme Executive Premium Content Editor for Tampa News Force. Comedian, writer and ordained minister. Twitter: @ClarkBrooks | Instagram:@ClarkBrooks54