Where Drake Wasn’t Last Night

Canadian superstar Drake, probably the second-biggest star in the world after what’s-her-name, has been in Tampa this weekend for two sold out shows at Amalie Arena, one on Friday and one tonight at 8pm. 

That means he had a Saturday night free in Tampa. How did he spend it? There’s no way to know for sure unless you were someone who happened to be in his entourage. But here are six places we know he wasn’t. 

Starbucks
Canadiens simply don’t do Starbucks. They’re devoted to Tim Horton’s and if they’re slumming in the states, they might hit up a Dunkin’ but definitely not Starbucks.

Amalie Arena
Drake almost certainly has at least one person who manages his schedule and there’s no way he thought he had a show last night and showed up at the arena by mistake. 

Gas station karaoke
If Drake wanted to do karaoke, he’d go to the Double Decker in Ybor, not some stupid gas station down the street from the aquarium.

Marion Street Transit Center snack bar
Tampa has many excellent restaurants but there are 5-star locations where you can get hot dogs and Pepsi that have more accessible parking. Although not as convenient for catching a bus to Temple Terrace, so if Drake needed a ride to a hookah shop, maybe he was here.

Open mic at Pokey’s
Drake would be more likely to show up for a comedy open mic than some lame karaoke night because open mic comedy is so awesome. But this place hasn’t done an open mic in a long time and hasn’t even been Pokey’s in an even longer time. 

Saints and Sinners night club
Saints and Sinners is a night club owned by notorious gangster Howard Saint and is probably the hottest nightspot in Tampa. The only problem is it’s a fictional creation that only exists in the 2004 film “The Punisher”. In real life, the location is the lobby for Rivergate Plaza, better known as The Beer Can Bulding.