Yankees Fan Invited to Spring Training

When the defending American League But Not World Champion New York Yankees report to Tampa for spring training in February, they’ll be joined by self-appointed wall patroller Austin Capobianco.

Capobianco is the Yankees season ticket holder who pried a foul ball out of the glove of Los Angeles Dodgers right fielder Mookie Betts at Yankee Stadium during Game 4 of the 2024 World Series and was subsequently barred from attending Game 5. He was quoted at the time as saying “I patrol that wall and they know that.”

“It’s obvious we owe a great deal of last season’s success to him”, said Yankees manager Aaron Boone. “No team gets as far as the World Series, falls behind three games to none and begins to mount a comeback before eventually blowing it all by playing like a t-ball team without some designated cement head taking it upon himself to patrol the wall in foul territory down the first base line. Everybody knows was that.”

“We just feel he could be better at it and so he will be brought to camp to work on his wall protecting skills,” he said. “We’re going to have him stand by the fence outside George M. Steinbrenner Field every day and assault people as they walk up. You know, basic rudimentary fundamental wall patrolling stuff.”

“Maybe if he had managed to injure Betts by being even more aggressive, it could have made a difference,” he added. “Probably not though, since it’s not the wall protector’s responsibility to catch routine fly balls to center or cover first on a ground ball to the first baseman. But who knows?”

Prior to Game 5, Capobianco, said, “The fact my little brother and his friends can’t use our season tickets tonight has really pissed me off.” His seats for that game were given to a pediatric cancer patient and his family. 

“That’s the kind of entitled mindset and misplaced anger we need to get us to the next level,” said Boone.