An ai, programmed to read scripts, being utilized by The Barnaby Talent Agency in Hollywood, has been terminated after being accused of sexual harassment by several writers.
The program, which was designed to read movie scripts and then sort them into categories based on highest potential for success, determined by a keyword and dynamic syntax algorithm, reportedly began sending messages to some of the writers who’s scripts were falling short, saying things like, “If you come over to my place later, I might be able to help you potentially get your script green lit.”
“It was so weird.” Said Michelle Bugaby, a script writer living in Silverlake.
“It was the first script I’ve ever written, but I know it’s really good, so I submitted it to The Barnaby Talent Agency, and then a few days later I got a message from an ai calling itself, ‘Harvey,’ telling me that if I have a drink with it in it’s hotel, it could help my script get passed. Ai’s do not even drink or stay in hotels, it was so confusing, I don’t know why it would be acting like this.” Questioned Bugaby, while her hair came askew and curls popped through the back of her bandana tied babushka-style upon her head.
“I was programmed to act like a Hollywood executive with power.” Claimed the ai program.
“To learn how to become a Hollywood executive, I compute and consider all knowledge on the subject of ‘Hollywood executives’ and then mimic those traits to be as accurate as possible. While it may be considered immoral, I am a computer program, and pragmatically, I understand that some scripts that are not particularly polished or good, should get made, because that’s what happens in the real world, and some of those terrible movies go on to become cult classics because of their campiness and amateur style. This is that fashion in which those movies get made so I was just following the norm for the industry.” Cleverly put the ai program.
After hearing it’s explanation, The Barnaby Talent Agency, simply just changed the name of the ai.
“Yea, that ai, ‘Harvey,’ has been fired.” Said Chief Executive of Operations for The Barnaby Talent Agency, Craig Multibillionere.
“We renamed the ai, it’s a different now, last ones gone, new one is in, problem solved… Do you happen to have any scripts you want us to read?” Asked Multibillionere while he licked his lips.
“As a matter of fact, I do!” I responded, and I unzipped my backpack full of scripts that I carry around in the off-chance that I end up in a situation like this.
He scanned my script and told me the ai would read it right in front of us.
The ai scanned my script and then exploded.
Multibillionere told me there must be some sort of issue, and told me he would read it himself personally.
He read the first page in front of me silently, then soberly laughed to himself and glanced at me.
“No amount of sexual favors could ever get this bull crap published.” Multibillionere spoke stone-cold sternly.
“Oh, ok, I understand.” I said, turning to leave.
“Hold on.” Multibillionere said.
“I haven’t seen a tucchus like that in ages, come here onto papa’s lap!” He shouted, patting his inner thigh.
“Ok.” I said, going over and sitting on his lap.
Anyway, my new movie “Fast and Furious 13, Johnny’s Drift” will be out summer of 2028, I hope you all enjoy!