Arctic survival gear spotted as Bay Area temperatures turn cold-ish
Downtown Tampa, Sunday, 1.20.2019
A cold front from Canada has rolled into the Tampa Bay area, something which happens every year and lasts for about nine days, causing temperatures to dip into the 50s.
As a result, local residents have been spotted wearing extreme cold-weather gear appropriate for research expeditions to the polar ice caps.
Ashley Bruugdaal of Davis Island says, “This parka is water repellant. It’s 80% cotton, 20% nylon outer shell, polyester insulation, and has synthetic fur trim on an adjustable hood. Plus reinforced elbows and zippers up to the eyes for protection in blizzard conditions with inset knit cuffs and a drawstring waist to keep out drafts. Isn’t it the cutest?” When asked why she owns such a garment in an area where the climate sees temperatures well in excess of over 80 degrees for a majority of the year, she stares back, sets her jaw and says, “uhhhh, it’s the cutest.”
Hyde Park’s Thad Cheddarbach, resplendent in a jacket with an outer shell made of military grade water repellent 100% nylon and an interlining of 100% polyester fiber fill with an adjustable drawstring hood lined with soft synthetic mouton and trimmed with removable synthetic coyote fur says, “I can’t speak for anybody else, but I moved here from Chicago about a month ago, so I own lots of cold weather clothing.” When asked if this weather would be considered cold in Chicago, he scoffs. “God no! I’ve been shirtless in the Wrigley Field bleachers, double-fisting Old Style in weather worse than this. I guess I’m just a pansy now. Go Cubs!”, he yells as he crushes an empty Jai Alai India Pale Ale can against the EXO-AT950 modular snow adventure helmet he’s wearing for some reason.
“It’s difficult to manage extreme changes in weather,” says local weatherologist Luanna McWangle. “While it may seem mild to people who live in places that are colder, it’s a pretty drastic change for those of us here in the Tampa Bay area. Our body’s systems are not conditioned for this and so the most important thing is to dress appropriately for personal health safety. Plus booooooots!”, she squeals in delight.