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Governor DeSantis sends National Guard to Gasparilla

DeSantis National Guard

This morning, Florida Governor Ron DeSantis ordered The National Guard to the Gasparilla Festival in Tampa, citing that the foreign invaders pose a national security risk. “We don’t negotiate with terrorists,” DeSantis said while ordering the National Guard to dig a moat around the Governors Mansion. Although critics of the DeSantis Administration were quick to…

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Ybor shoe licker exclusively switches to gloves

Gloves

During a crowded gathering in front of New York New York Pizza; Jaime Redacted, also known most commonly as ‘The Shoe Licker’ or ‘Ybor Shoe Licker’, approached the crowd of bar goers and general citizens of the Ybor Strip; standing on a table stating “Good evening ladies and gentlemen, I have gathered all you all…

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