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Botched MRI Turns Tampa Woman Canadian

Following some sort of technical mishap during a medical examination performed using magnetic resonance imaging at Tampa General Hospital (TGH), Kathleen Peterson is now Canadian.

“I knew something was wrong as soon as I got out of the machine and thanked the technicians,” she said. “I don’t thank the clerk at Starbucks and that’s a much more pleasant experience than an MRI.”

“Jesus Murphy, what a kerfuffle, eh?”

When asked to comment on the incident, a spokesperson for TGH said the machine must have been hacked by AI.

“All I know is they offered me a pair of headphones, asked what kind of music I wanted to listen to during the procedure and I liked ‘Titanic’ so I said Celine Dion,” said Peterson. “When I came out 25 minutes later, I had a major craving for poutine.”

She said she has retained a lawyer and is taking action against TGH.

“My life has changed forever and not for the better. I don’t enjoy Starbucks anymore because I prefer Tim Horton’s and we don’t have those here. Also, I drink Molson and LaBatts now instead of PBR and those are both much more expensive.”

”I speak French now and know who Maurice ‘Rocket’ Richard is,” she sobbed, breaking down in tears. “Oh God, what if I’m a Newfie?!?”

“I believe I’m entitled to those bastards paying me at least $1,349,000 in loonies,” she said. “If it’s not too much trouble, of course.”

Clark Brooks

About Clark Brooks

Senior Supreme Executive Premium Content Editor for Tampa News Force. Comedian, writer and ordained minister. Twitter: @ClarkBrooks | Instagram:@ClarkBrooks54