Politics
Marco Rubio Top Disseminator of Gay Erotica
In an attempt to shame a group of people for being recognized by the LA Dodgers, Marco Rubio has accidentally become the top disseminator of gay erotica on social media. “It’s disgusting seeing what the MLB glorifies these days,” said Florida Senator, Marco Rubio. “Someone sent me the full performance of these mostly naked guys…
Read MoreTaylor Swift Fires Jane Castor After Accepting Mayorship
In a stunning turn of events, the newly appointed Mayor for the City of Tampa has fired the democratically elected mayor. “When I asked Taylor Swift to be our mayor for a day, I thought it would a fun photoshoot opportunity,” said Castor as she cleaned out her desk. “The last thing I expected was…
Read MoreMayor Castor Video Game Announced for Playstation 5
As part of a new inclusive gaming agenda by Activision, the gaming studio behind the popular Call of Duty franchise has announced a new video game based on the life of Tampa Mayor Jane Castor. “I have been shot at,” said Mayor Castor who previously served as the chief of police for the City of…
Read MoreRick Scott shares New Years kiss with fleshlight
Former disgraced Florida Governor, and current Florida Senator, Rick Scott, was caught sharing a New Years kiss with a fleshlight, during a party a the Senators mansion. “Yea he just walked out during the countdown with this dripping sex toy, then gave it a big tongue kiss when the clock hit zero. It was pretty…
Read MoreWhich party consumes more Adrenochrome? Democrat or Republican: A full breakdown
Conspiracies have flown around the internet for a while now that wealthy elites in power consume the blood of children who have been scared to release adrenaline. (This is something that people sincerely believe.) We’re going to breakdown which party most-likely consumes more of this enriched blood. Democrat: Great with image, everything is about perception…
Read MoreBabies #MeToo politicians who kissed them
A group of babies led by one child prodigy who is able to speak and communicate with other babies despite being only 3 months old, have begun cancelling the politicians who have kissed them against their will at campaign rallies. “Just because our parents have held us out towards the politicians does not imply consent.”…
Read MoreFor the love of all that’s holy, VOTE!
You know that famous quote, “All it takes for evil to be a thing is for good people to not do anything and you hardly ever do anything, so how about you get off your ass for a change and fucking do something” or however it goes? Yeah, that. Tomorrow, assuming you didn’t already vote…
Read MoreAbortion clinic shooter wins GOP primary
Timothy Edelstein, who was arrested for committing a mass shooting at an abortion clinic, was named the winner of a secret preliminary primary for the GOP. “He hates abortions, he loves guns, he really checks all the boxes.” Said Hanz Prinzman, the secret shadow-GOP government leader. “What about the fact that he murdered people and…
Read MoreTNF post-primary preview in review
Following Tuesday’s tightly contested 2022 Florida Democratic Party gubernatorial primary between Rep. Charlie Crist and Florida Agricultural Commissioner Nikki Fried (and apparently two other people nobody ever heard of), here are the official analysis and endorsements from Tampa News Force, which probably would have suited you better if it came out yesterday or even earlier.…
Read MoreAugust 23rd Primary in Florida Could Decide Which Democrat Will Lose to Ron DeSantis
Agricultural Commissioner, Nikki Fried, pathetically gathered a small and unnoticeable cluster of people to complain about her leftist talking points. “Florida could really use some legal weed right about now,” said Fried to her supporters. “I don’t understand it. All these old ass people come to this state to die, and they don’t want to…
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