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City of Tampa robbed while visiting City of Tampa

Tampa, Kansas

The City of Tampa, Florida, recently hosted the entire City of Tampa, Kansas, all 100 or so residents, for a tour of their namesake city, during which the residents of Tampa, Kansas, were robbed of the City of Tampa, Kansas.

“They took EVERYTHING! The post office, all the houses, the Santa Fe Trail Café, the bank, the Trail Stop grocery store, the roads; EVERYTHING!” said Mayor Timothy Svoboda. “They even took our empty fields and left us with… well, what would appear to be other, different empty fields.”

“I knew it was a bad idea to not leave at least one person home,” said Tampa (KS) resident Jesse Brunner. “For exactly this reason.”

Visit Tampa Bay, the civic organization funded in part by Tourism Development Collections, arranged the trip that saw the visitors from the Sunflower State go to Busch Gardens, the Tampa Riverwalk and ZooTampa at Lowry Park among other area attractions.

“I’ll bet it was those no-good scoundrels up in Ramona,” said Carla Hajek, another resident of the 115-acre municipality in Marion County. “I’ve always said, ‘Don’t trust those no-good scoundrels up in Ramona’.”

Informed of the theft, Tampa (FL) Mayor Jane Castor said, “This is just terrible. We have a connection; we are all Tampa! I feel like we’re at least partially responsible and we’re going to make this right. We will replace every single thing that was stolen from our friends and neighbors only 1,417.6 miles away in the fine City of Tampa, Kansas.”

“Like I said, they took EVERYTHING!” responded Mayor Timothy Svoboda. “The golf course, the Outback Steakhouse, the go-kart track, the casino, the baseball stadium, the strip clubs; EVERYTHING!”

Clark Brooks

About Clark Brooks

Senior Supreme Executive Premium Content Editor for Tampa News Force. Comedian, writer and ordained minister. Twitter: @ClarkBrooks | Instagram:@ClarkBrooks54