Clearwater bookie refuses to accept Super Bowl prop bet

Cliff Sizzli of Clearwater, operating from a home “office”, offers a service to people by transacting illegal, unsanctioned bets of all kinds on sporting events. But there’s one bet he refused to consider for this year’s Super Bowl.

“Novelty or exotic bets are a good sideline for me. And I’ll book almost anything, from individual player stats, to the length of the National Anthem to what commercial is the first to air after kickoff”, he said. “But I won’t take bets on whether Philadelphia fans will riot after they lose… or win… a championship.”

Sizzli says that particular proposition is one he’s most frequently presented but he simply can not accept.

“I work with gamblers, who gamble, on gambling. You know, games of chance, undetermined outcomes”, he said. “Philly fans rioting isn’t gambling; it’s a sure thing, a slam dunk, a guaranteed lock.”

“Any other city, I’d take that bet all day long. Because you’re dealing with people and there’s no way to predict with complete accuracy what human beings will or won’t do. In the case of Philadelphia, we’re not dealing with human beings. This is the city that dismembered that hitchhiking robot and where a Phillies fan puked intentionally on a cop and his little girl, remember? Booing Santa Claus is probably the most hospitable and benevolent thing they’ve ever done. ‘RAGE’ is their default setting in day-to-day life and ‘RIOT’ is their default setting when it comes to sports.”

“If I did offer to take on those bets, I’d have to offer 1/1000 odds. It would be like betting on the sun to rise every morning”, he said. “In fact, I’d offer 1/100 odds on that happening. That one is not 100% guaranteed.”