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Coolest Guy in the World Beats Other Guy to Red Light By Nearly 6 Seconds

Tampa’s Giovani Sizix, the proud owner and driver of a 2023 Corvette metaphorically blew the doors off a 2002 Ford Focus driven by Stewart Phloppins, also of Tampa yesterday afternoon.

“What a loser,” scoffed Sizix. 

“He’s right,” agreed Phloppins.

The two drivers found themselves next to each other at a red light at the corner of Hillsborough and Habana. Phloppins looked over at Sizix and smiled.

“I thought, ‘oh that’s how you want to play it? It’s on’,” said Sizix

“It’s a really nice car. I’ve always wanted one but I could never,” said Phloppins.

Once the light turned green, Sizix put the accelerator to the floor and left Phloppins behind. When both drivers arrived at the red light at the intersection of Hillsborough and Armenia nearly a half mile away, Phloppins got there over five seconds after Sizix.

Linda Chafgord, who witnessed the impromptu race-but-not-really as she was exiting the Subway at 2513 W. Hillsborough reported she is now pregnant as a result of Sizix’s utter domination of Phloppins.

Clark Brooks

About Clark Brooks

Senior Supreme Executive Premium Content Editor for Tampa News Force. Comedian, writer and ordained minister. Twitter: @ClarkBrooks | Instagram:@ClarkBrooks54