Democrats are dumb. Everyone is dumb you fucking idiot. You think just democrats are dumb? You are dumb for clicking this. It’s true. You can’t argue with me because I’m over here and this is a one-way conversation. I have all the power here. You can stop reading now, but you’ll be curious what else I say.
Go ahead, click off this page go somewhere else.
See? You can’t. You want more. You never get enough do you.
It’s always “this” and “that” but you never stop to wonder why.
You know what?
It’s not worth it.
It’s not worth it for me to try to explain it to you.
Nothing will be accomplished from writing this.
There’s no literary or moral values which will come from this article.
So let’s just all settle this the only way we know how.
A good old-fashioned “send me your money” competition.
I’ll tell you my Venmo name, you send me as much money as you have, and then i’ll send you as much money as I have, and whoever sends the most money wins.
My Venmo is @john-jacobs-84 and my Cashapp is $jj91396
There you go.
Now you have my money app information.
I’ve made myself vulnerable and opened up to you.
Are you happy now?
Of course not.
You never are.
And I’m starting to think you never will be.
I look at you and I think, “that poor sack of shit. Poor fuckin thing. Damn. I can’t imagine what that must be like.”
It hurts my heart when I think about it.
That’s why I don’t think about it too much.
Speaking of not thinking too much I’m going to stop writing now, but I want to remind you that everything here written is a joke, except the part about begging you to send me money.
I’m just writing sentences for the fun of putting letters together.
Making sentences is fun! It’s like building sandcastles. Just putting letters together to make something then watching it get washed away from my memory 2 seconds after writing it.
It still stands but it’s gone from my mind forever, unless you remind me of it.
So maybe 40 years from now (if I’m still alive) I will look at this, and I will entertain myself. And I’m my dementia I will say, “this is some good writing, who wrote this?”
And my very young wife who takes care of me because I’m rich from all the money you sent me, will go, “It’s you silly! You wrote all this! You, John Jacobs!”
And at this point, reading my own name while I’m in a dementia stupor will probably startle me and anger me, but remember John, it’s ok. I’m you. We had a great life. You still have a great life. You’ve done everything you’ve ever wanted and more. Just relax in your old age, and enjoy the spoils of riches and luxury you have certainly surrounded yourself with.
You have a large wall around your compound, a security team, everyone loves you, entertainment is at every finger tip, the world is yours!
Now go back to sleep, wake up, eat, then do whatever you want.
Maybe you’ll even read some more of our old articles!
Just go to TampaNewsForce.com and type John Jacobs in the search bar and you will see all of the articles we wrote! Isn’t that cool! Enjoy it John. I’ll be here in the past, coming up with more things that will make you laugh in the future.