DeSantis glad that lent is finally over

With tomorrow being Good Friday, heading into the Easter weekend, today marks the end of lent, the 40-days beginning with Ash Wednesday during which many Christians observe a period of fasting, repentance, moderation, self-denial,

And few are more relieved that it’s ending than Florida governor Ron DeSantis who abstained from using the N-word.

“I can proudly say I didn’t cheat. Not even once,” he said proudly. “It was difficult because that’s one of my favorite things, but I’m very disciplined.”

To keep his mind off his pledge, he spent his spare time engaging in one of his other favorite leisure activities: masturbating to pictures of Danai Gurira.

“I also said ‘faggot’ more than I usually do, as a substitute,” he said. “Kind of like the nicotine patch, only a different word that starts with N.”

“But the important thing is that I did it,” he said. “No cheating!”

“Pussy. I cheat all the time,” said former president Donald Trump. “Lent or otherwise.”