Drunk Animal Zoo Opens in Tampa

The first zoo that lets visitors get animals drunk is opening as part of the next phase to revitalize Downtown Tampa.

“It’s no surprise that the City of Tampa needs more amenities for adults,” said Philandro Monopy, Director of Fun Activities for the City of Tampa. “So we are constantly trying to find new ways to push the boundaries of what city living can be, and who doesn’t want to drink a beer with a monkey?”

For $35, visitors will be allowed to hang out in an open-air warehouse with a bunch of animals that would normally be bored and trapped in an enclosure.

“We believe that drinking with an animal makes them looser and more fun to hang out with,” Elliotto Ruchacho, founder of Drinky Park Zoo.  “I wanted the vibe of a dark cigarette smoke-filled dive bar, but with loose animals that you can feed beer to.”

Ruchacho promises guests the opportunity to buy a round of shots for worker monkeys, hit a beer bong with an owl, and even the chance to dump a bucket of beer into the mouth of a hippo.

“There are too many activities that are geared for families, and adults barely have anything fun to do,” said Ruchacho. “And unlike breweries, we won’t allow children to ruin your buzz by having them run around making the animals nervous.”

Drinky Park Zoo will be opening in Downtown Tampa this weekend. Any children who try to sneak in will be executed and fed to the animals.