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Gentleman’s Club Cruise Embarking On Hillsborough River

A new gentleman’s club, Abreast, is set to sail along Downtown Tampa’s Hillsborough River in what is being called a first-of-its-kind, upscale, adults-only entertainment experience.

“Too many boats that operate on this river lack women dancing on poles,” said Pullnicky Barba, captain of Abreast. “When I saw that one boat was charging people to eat on the Hillsborough River, naturally I thought about what else can we put on the river and charge a lot of money for.”

Barba tested out the concept by renting out a pontoon boat and having some dancers grind on people who decided to climb aboard.

“As soon as we got our first customer, I knew this was what I would be doing for the rest of my life,” said Barba who was only two weeks into operating the gentleman’s club vessel. “Some people might call this a strip club on a boat, but we are much fancier than that.”

After word got out that Barba was operating a strip club boat on the Hillsborough River, another gentleman said he was actually the first person to come up with this idea.

“I’ve been chartering strippers on boats for a couple of decades now,” said Charles McTaimor. “This Barba guy was a customer, and now he’s going around telling people he is the only one operating a stripper boat!”

The enraged McTaimor has been sailing next to Barbas rented pontoon boat offering the same experience to guests.

“We’ve been out here the last few nights, cruising the bay until 4 AM, picking up guys and letting the women do their thing,” said McTaimor. “That Barba has been cutting into my profit margins.”

However, Barba claims that he had no idea who McTaimor is and that he is jealous that his idea has been getting mainstream media attention from Tampa News Force.

“We can argue over who has a better boat to host women giving lap dances and swinging on polls, but at the end of the day, it’s the customers who decide to give their money to,” said Barba. “Besides, he is calling his thing a strip club on a boat, we’re an elevated Gentleman’s Sailing Club, we are not the same.”

Josh Santos

About Josh Santos

Writer and award-winning videographer and documentarian. Instagram: @HashtagSantos