Tampa Kennedy Supporters Seek to Make Upcoming Debate Even More Pointless
A group of political activists with signs and t-shirts gathered in downtown Tampa yesterday at the intersection of Kennedy and Franklin in support of Bobby Kennedy, anti-vax conspiracy theory presidential candidate and the 4th name that pops up on Google when you start typing “Bobby K”.
“The issue we have is that he wasn’t invited to participate in the presidential debate taking place this Thursday, June 27th, and we’re outraged,” said Mildred Hammersquatch, one of those in attendance.
Kennedy is currently somewhere between 15% and “Huh? Oh yeah, him” in the latest polls.
“I realize the whole world is regrettably resigned to the sad facts that the election is going to come down to a choice between two guys that nobody should be really excited about and that neither of them are expected to say anything of consequence that night and that the declared ‘winner’ will be the one who seems the least incoherent. But is an irrelevant occurrence truly irrelevant if every irrelevant voice isn’t heard?”
”I mean, that’s kind of the point of an open democracy, isn’t it?” chipped in Robert Thornburch, another Kennedy supporter. “Is it? I’m asking because I honestly don’t know.”
“Just look at this bus”, Hammersquatch said, choking back patriotic, un-vaxed tears and gesturing to a red, white and blue bus festooned with the word “BOBBY” all over it. “This is a legit political bus!”
”Hey, I just realized this is Kennedy Boulevard,” she added. “That’s kind of neat.”
No word on whether or not Bobby Kennedy himself was actually on said bus at the rally or even in Tampa at all. He might well have been but nobody seemed to notice either way.
