Gynecologist With Fat Fingers Has License Revoked

George Gorwidge, a gynecologist operating from a clinic in South Tampa has had his professional accreditation revoked due to having short, stubby fingers.

“This sucks,” said Dr. Gorwidge. “I took all my classes. Graduated with honors. I’m a good doctor. So my fingers are kind of thick. How is that a problem if I do good work?”

“I don’t see the problem,” said Melissa Rawrher, a former patient. “He does a fine job with those little sausages. I hate that I have to find a new provider.”

“Yeah, maybe. But look at these beauties,” said Dr. Peter Falangeston, a member of the state board who voted to decertify Gorwidge and who has gorgeous, well-manicured hands with lengthy fingers. “Look at my sleek, elegant and graceful fingers. You think I ever have any trouble getting pickles out of a jar? Sure, a patient is going to be polite and not complain regardless of most of their provider’s limitations but this is what women want, believe me.”

He went on to say, “If I weren’t a gyno, I’d probably be playing violin in an orchestra. George would, and probably will, be operating a forklift at Costco.”

“If anything, I’m aware of my shortcomings and I compensate for them,” said Dr. Gorwidge. “I think lots of gals like a nice girthy grab.”

“He’s exactly right,” said Rawrher. “He’s never failed to get the job done with me.”

“However, this entire conversation is gross and I now regret being part of it,” she added. “You can really tell when a publication doesn’t have any female writers.”