How to Dress up a Sleeping Monkey as an Unconscious Woman

“Rape fantasy” is a term that is only culturally appropriate to use as a woman, because if a man used the term it would be assumed that he was fantasizing about committing the heinous act.

Now that is an opening sentence an article right there.

From the title of the article, and the opening sentence, you may deduce that the article is about how to dress up a sleeping monkey like an unconscious woman, so you could have your way with it and fantasize that it was a real human being you were having intercourse with.

But that’s not what this article is about.

The reason you would choose to dress up a sleeping monkey as an unconscious woman would be very movie purposes.

Did you know in the movie Dunston Checks In, the orangutan had to dress up as a human woman in many scenes, and the best way to get the monkey dressed is while it’s asleep. That is the path of least resistance.

So here are a few tips to dress up a monkey while it’s asleep to look like a woman.

Give the monkey a sleeping pill

After the monkey has eaten the sleeping pill and fallen asleep, you can easily slip it into a dress and a wig and it will just assume it’s wearing regular clothes, as monkey’s can’t distinguish between men’s and women’s fashion.

Give the monkey treats

Positive reinforcement is very important with animals, and to make sure the monkey stays in costume you will need to give it a little monkey treat every few minutes to show it that it’s being a good monkey.

Clap for the monkey

If you clap for the monkey it will think it’s doing something good. Clap for it while it wears the woman’s clothes.

Those are the tips for how to dress up a monkey as an unconscious woman. See, nothing weird or strange about this article at all. Next time maybe you’ll hold your judgements until after you’ve digested the content.