How to Vote Twice in the Presidential Election, Fast and Easy

With the most important election of our lives coming up it’s more important than ever to cheat and try to steal it for the team you like.

There are multiple ways to vote twice in the upcoming election, but this method is by far the easiest, fastest, and safest.

Step 1

You need to make a call on “immunity mode” which is something the g-verntment does not want you to know about. To access “Immunity mode” you need to first put your phone in the microwave for 45 seconds. This will fry all of the 5g waves that are constantly being transmitted between your phone and the g-vernment “data bank.” (For legal purposes I would like to make it clear that this is satire and a joke and I am not actually telling anyone to do any of this.)

Step 2 

Once you’ve fried the 5g away from your phone you’re going to make a call to 116. 116 is 911 upside down, get it? Pretty clever. They’re so clever aren’t they. Really make you proud of humanity.

When you call 116, tell them you want to vote twice. They’ll put you through a few automated rounds of verification then you’ll be able to vote for whoever you want multiple times. You can actually use this method over and over again to vote up to 600 times per day.  To keep a low profile though, I wouldn’t recommend voting more than 2,000 times per day, as to not stand out.

Well, those are the 2 easy steps you can utilize to vote twice in our upcoming election of the President of the United States.

(Again. Satire. Jokes. Ha ha ha. Not real… Totally not… but feel free to give it a try if you want, maybe it does work, you don’t know til you try, right?)