Last Person to Believe Tampa Has Never Hit 100 Degrees, Dies

It’s an interesting bit of Tampa Bay trivia that Tampa’s temperature has never officially hit 100 degrees and that the highest temperature ever recorded in Tampa was 99 degrees on June 26, 2020.

“Yeah, everyone says that and takes a sort of pride in sharing it as local folklore, but nobody really believes it because… well, obviously it’s not true”, said local historian Burt Welcher gesturing to everything outside around him on the verge of bursting into flames. “Except this one guy, Charles Elwig. And now he’s dead.”

His family shared this obituary: 

“We bid farewell to our father, Charles Elwig, who departed from this world on May 29th. 2024, at the age of 66. A pillar of strength and a beacon of love but kind of gullible and downright dumb sometimes, his absence leaves a void in our hearts. We would like to thank all who knew him and didn’t take advantage of his simplemindedness over the years. That must have been difficult, considering how much money from easy bar bets you could have won at his expense.”

He is survived by his son Carl, who doesn’t believe for a minute that Oswald acted alone and his daughter Charlotte, who is positive there’s no way the moon landing ever happened.