Man trying to commit suicide in Tesla going to be there a while

Robert Crinch has made the unfortunate and highly ill-advised decision to end his own life, and he’;;s chosen to do it via the accumulation of toxic fumes emitted from his Model Y Tesla in his sealed garage.

“The reasons why I’m doing this are not important; I’m just generally unhappy about some things The point is it’s an autonomous decision and the Tesla is the most autonomous vehicle in the world, so it makes sense,” he said, not using the word ‘autonomous’ incorrectly per se but still failing to demonstrate that he knows what he’s talking about, something made apparent by the fact that he doesn’t know that his Tesla is an electric vehicle that doesn’t use petroleum products and does not emit toxic fumes.

“Oh, excuse me, Mr. Engineer; I don’t think you’re an expert on how cars work,” he said defensively. “It might take longer than it would with another model, but I’m committed to making this happen.”

“Oh hey! I think I’m starting to smell something… yep, here we go… wait… nope, that’s me,” he said. “I’ve been out here for most of the last two days. Shit. This is taking forever.”

This is just a silly story about a guy who doesn’t know how electric cars work, not suicide because suicide isn’t funny. Whether you’re considering suicide or know someone who feels suicidal, learn suicide warning signs and how to reach out for immediate help and professional treatment. You may save a life — your own or someone else’s. In the U.S., call or text 988 to reach the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Or use the Lifeline Chat at 988lifeline.org/chat/. Services are free and confidential. If you’re a U.S. veteran or service member in crisis, call 988 and then press 1, or text 838255. Or chat using veteranscrisisline.net/get-help-now/chat/. The Suicide & Crisis Lifeline in the U.S. has a Spanish language phone line at 1-888-628-9454.