Mosaic Plant Suffers an Oopsie

Several firefighting units responded to what is being called a brush fire either on or near the Mosaic Company property in south Hillsborough County Monday afternoon.

The Mosaic Company is a Fortune 500 company which mines phosphate, potash and urea for producing fertilizer.

Fertilizer is simply two things: made of poop and used to feed plants. And toxic. And also highly explosive. Four things.

”Listen, I know some Nervous Nellie’s might have some misplaced concerns about an imminent environmental disaster but we are caring, responsible citizens of the Tampa Bay Area. We love it here and would never, ever put any of our neighbors in any kind of danger, believe me. Everything is just fine,” said Mosaic Company spokesperson Joe Kidden from the company’s brand new remote office in Skunksknuckle, North Dakota which just opened today.