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Pinellas County Cat Shot With Arrow: “Is That All You Got?”

A cat shot with an arrow near St. Pete a month ago has made a remarkable recovery and will be heading to a new home. He also has some words for his abuser.

“An arrow? You shot me with an arrow?!? You William Tell, Robin Hood, Cochise wannabe-ass bitch,” said the cat now known as PAKman, which stands for ‘Poor Arrow Kitty’.

“But look; I’m still here and better than ever. I’m from the streets, son. No medieval weapon formed against me shall prosper. I got nine lives and you couldn’t even take one, motherfucker,” he said. “And now, in addition to the cops,  you have Dave Bautista after you. You’ve drawn the unwanted attention of a Guardian of the Galaxy, you dumbass! How do you think that’s going to work out? You could ask Ronan the Accuser if he wasn’t dead!”

Bautista, the actor and former WWE superstar lives in Tampa and is well-known locally for advocating on behalf of animals and animal rescue, has offered a reward leading to the apprehension of the culprit. 

PAKman underwent a high-risk surgery and was on a feeding tube for some time but has survived in large part because of the efforts of local organization Cat Trap Fever Inc.

“Don’t get the wrong idea; I’m a grateful and happy kitty. I wouldn’t be here today if it weren’t for some very kind and dedicated people,” he said. “But I also wouldn’t be here today if you were good at archery, you sorry piece of shit, whoever you are.”

Clark Brooks

About Clark Brooks

Senior Supreme Executive Premium Content Editor for Tampa News Force. Comedian, writer and ordained minister. Twitter: @ClarkBrooks | Instagram:@ClarkBrooks54