Presidential Debate Breaks Down to Oldest, Whitest Man Argument Possible
Two men with a combined total age of 158 years old, competing to be elected leader of the most powerful nation on Earth, met on TV Thursday night to discuss their respective golf games.
TRUMP: I took physical exams, I did a test, I took physical exams every year. And we knock on wood wherever we may have wood, that I’m in very good health. I just won two club championships, not even senior, two regular club championships. To do that, you have to be quite smart and you have to be able to hit the ball a long way and I do it. He doesn’t do it, he can’t hit a ball 50 yards. He challenged me to a golf match, he can’t hit a ball 50 yards. I think I’m in very good shape.
BIDEN: I’d be happy to have a driving contest with him. I got my handicap, when I was Vice President, down to a 6.
TRUMP: (chuckles)
BIDEN: And by the way, I told you before I’m happy to play golf if you carry your own bag. Think you can do it?
TRUMP: That’s the biggest lie; that he’s a six handicap of all.
BIDEN: I was eight handicap….
TRUMP: I’ve seen you swing I know your swing… Let’s not act like children.
BIDEN: You are a child!
Representatives for both sides are negotiating terms for a pay-per-view golf match between the two candidates that will actually decide the election but are said to be fiercely divided on whether the format will be putt-putt or goofy.
