Protesters outside Amalie Arena express variety of opinions

With the return of Ringling Brothers and Barnum & Bailey’s Circus, a number of protesters with a wide range of issues on their minds gathered outside of Amalie Arena in downtown Tampa last night to share their views.

“You’re all sinners and you’re going to burn in a lake of fire for eternity unless you forsake your wicked ways and repent in the name of Jesus,” screamed self-appointed street preacher Russell Brivers of Tampa, who’s out there all the time unless he’s in Ybor, which he says he prefers because there’s a wider variety of dining options and “that’s where the big money is.”

“I want my goddamn job back,” said a clown who gave his name as ‘Shuffles’. “I went to college – okay, clown college, but still – and the only place where I can use my degree – yes, my clown degree – is the circus. Ringling is the only circus there is and now they don’t even have clowns.”

“It’s like being a five-tool, major league-caliber centerfielder and then they decide to cancel baseball,” he added. “Fuck, I might as well have studied art history. Clown art history, that is.”

Beauregard, a 485-pound bengal tiger from Bangladesh was also there and said, “I’m just happy to be out here instead of in there for a change. Long overdue but thanks, Ringling. It’s much appreciated. Out here I have the freedom to eat all the clowns I want and nobody gets mad. In fact, it’s encouraged!”