Rays to Host Angel Hernandez Night
The Tampa Bay Rays will commemorate the career of legendary Major League Baseball (MLB) umpire Angel Hernandez at their game against the Atlanta Braves on Sunday, June 16.
”Angel’s three colorful decades in the game at the highest professional level are a testament to perseverance in the face of a startling lack of skill as well as the power of labor unions. In light of all the joy he will bring to baseball fans everywhere by announcing his sudden retirement today, a celebration seems in order,” said Rays Vice President of Celebrations Mike Rivers this morning. “Please join everyone in the Rays organization in hoping he doesn’t fuck that up too.”
There will be a pre-game video montage featuring his many career highlights, such as his whimsically subjective interpretation of the strike zone, hilariously ejecting dozens of players and managers unnecessarily over the years and losing a lawsuit he filed against MLB because they wouldn’t let him work postseason games, which he attributed to racial discrimination and not his own incompetence.
The first 10,000 fans in attendance will receive complimentary eye examinations and rock bands Blind Melon and Third Eye Blind will perform a postgame concert in center field.
