Student prank calls teacher a hundred million times

8-year-old Todd Testerton earned the admiration of classmates at Roosevelt Elementary School in Tampa by deftly executing a brilliant prank on teacher Helen Kwirth.

“I found her home phone number and I called her at least a hundred million times,” said Testerton. “I just kept calling and when she answered I hung up. Over and over and over again. It was hilarious!”

“Miss Kwirth is so stupid,” he said. “It completely drove her crazy and ruined her evening!”

“My phone rang like four times,” said Kwirth, who is in fact married. “It was mildly annoying.”

Asked where he got the idea for such a clever hoax, Testerton said, “Most amateurs would call and yell an obscenity or fart and hang up and that would be it. But the secret to comedy is repetition. It’s an essential comedic device in which a statement or theme is recalled as the punchline or close of a scene. It’s a classic example of tension and release. You’d know that if you knew anything about comedy.”

“And I got her number off the note she sent home to my parents to tell them I’m failing math,” he added.

“Todd is a genius and a hero,” said classmate Denise Pilsner. “If I wasn’t prepubescent, I’d be so into him.”

“You know, because every adult woman finds all male comedians irresistible,” she said.