Tampa Bay lawyers eager to help Tom and Gisele

Local personal injury attorneys are ready and able to assist Tampa Bay Buccaneers quarterback Tom Brady and his soon-to-be ex-wife Gisele Bündchen as they begin preliminary steps to dissolve their marriage.

“Now is the time to come to the aid of people who so desperately need it,” said John Morgan. “Of course I’m talking about the Brady’s. Who else? Oh yeah, The Hurricane Ian people too, I guess. Sure. But they’ll be okay. They have the government.”

“Yeah, the government will be there for the folks in Ft. Myers,” agreed Dennis Hernandez. “But who will stand by Tampa Bay’s most prominent celebrity couple and all that money in their hour of need? Me… I mean, us… that’s who.”

“Sure, we’re personal injury lawyers, not family law practitioners,” added Jack Bernstein. “But isn’t a divorce just about the most personal injury that millionaires can suffer? Of course it is. The prosecution or the defense or whatever rests.”

“Everybody can sit back and relax; this is all going to work out just great,” said either Maney or Gordon. “Not necessarily for Tom, Gisele and their children per se, but now is not the time to be narrow-minded and selfish. Think about us, the lawyers!”

“Harumph harumph I concur harumph ipso facto harumph brief filing deposition harumph harumph,” added every other lawyer with their face and a promise of a quick settlement pasted on a bus bench in the Bay Area.