Tampa Library Opts Out of “Freedom Summer”

The John F. Germany Public Library in downtown Tampa is displaying an array of rainbow-colored LED lights in observance of Pride Month, running counter to the “Freedom Summer” policy from Florida Governor Ron DeSantis which strictly prohibits similar displays on bridges.

”This makes Governor DeSantis very sad. It’s a shame that a public institution has made such an unfortunate choice,” said Jim Snackass, a spokesperson for the governor’s office. “I guess they hate freedom.”

”We don’t charge admission and we have tons of books, music and video as well as a variety of other media resources, all available to the public for no charge. Everything about a library is fundamentally an enthusiastic and active representation of freedom,” countered librarian Kim Kiverly. “So I don’t know what they’re talking about.”

Upon learning that the library has books, legislation is being drafted to have the building burnt down.

”We’ll kill two woke birds with one flaming stone,” said Snackass.