Tampa man labels everyone wearing black clothes as “goth”

Dan Kleeb is under the mistaken impression that everyone who wears black clothing is a Goth.

“Jesus, look around. They’re everywhere”, he said recently, driving north on Florida Avenue through downtown Tampa. “Friggin’ creepy-ass Goths.”

Goths were once defined as members of a Germanic people that invaded the Roman Empire from the east between the 3rd and 5th centuries. The eastern division, the Ostrogoths, founded a kingdom in Italy, while the Visigoths went on to found one in Spain. The modern parlance refers to a style of rock music derived from punk, typically with apocalyptic or mystical lyrics and members of a subculture favoring black clothing, white and black makeup, and goth music.

While waiting at the red light at the corner of Florida and Kennedy, he saw a group of fans dressed in black on their way to Amalie Arena to see a heavy metal band named Blüdwürst in concert.

“Hey goths, the cemetery is that way”, he yelled at them. “Friggin’ kooky goths.”

Crossing Madison Street, he spotted two restaurant servers in black shirts, pants and aprons on their way to work at CW’s Gin Joint and yelled, “Hey goths, I don’t want any skeletons in my soup, okay? Friggin’ weirdo goths.”

As he proceeded just a few feet further, he passed Sacred Heart Catholic Church and saw a priest in a black vestment crossing the street.

“Jesus, that one’s wearing a dress,” he muttered under his breath. “Friggin’ creepy-ass goths.”