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Tampa Man Might Have Deep-Seated, Unspoken Reasons to Root Against Chiefs

Phil Whimpful of Tampa is genuinely troubled by the relationship between Tampa News Force owner and entertainer Taylor Swift and Kansas City Chiefs tight end Travis Kelce to the extent that he is devoting an extraordinary amount of energy rooting against Kansas City in Super Bowl LVIII against the San Francisco 49ers next Sunday.

“I’m just so sick of it. It’s all the media ever talks about. It’s impossible to avoid,” he said as he scrolled past news coverage of Ukraine, Palestine, the U.S. border crisis, the 2024 Presidential election, the rising cost of living in the Tampa Bay Area and the resurgence of COVID.

“It’s obviously all rigged, every aspect of their ‘relationship’ is a scripted set-up, just like the whole NFL itself, and it’s designed to give Kansas City an unfair advantage in the big game”, he said about the couple who started dating last October and their impact on a team that has made the playoffs 10 of the last 11 seasons, won their division eight years in a row and will be appearing in their fourth Super Bowl in the last five seasons.
“And it’s all leading up to her endorsing Joe Biden in this election,” he added referencing someone who doesn’t need a Super Bowl win to influence millions of people.

“I’m sorry, but I just don’t believe athletes or celebrities have any business in politics,” he continued, pausing to turn down his Kid Rock/Ted Nugent mix CD so he could put on an Aaron Rogers New York Jets jersey. “Shut up and sing or dribble, am I right?”

When asked directly if he has a problem with the traditionally wholesome concept of two successful people falling in love, he answered, “I’m not saying exactly that in those particular words, but these are all things I’ve had time to think about since my last girlfriend left me because I watch too much football.”

Clark Brooks

About Clark Brooks

Senior Supreme Executive Premium Content Editor for Tampa News Force. Comedian, writer and ordained minister. Twitter: @ClarkBrooks | Instagram:@ClarkBrooks54

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