Tampa News Force contacted by Taylor Swift’s lawyers: vows to never give up

Following backlash from some fans over a story run by Tampa News Force (TNF) on Saturday, April 15, claiming that Taylor Swift had cancelled that night’s concert at Raymond James Stadium in Tampa, representatives of Ms. Swift’s legal team visited TNF’s offices this morning.

Lawyers from the firm Barrbara, Jeanne, Buffette and Poncianoo came to town in person to deliver the message that Ms. Swift was not amused by the article which may have slightly misstated a couple of small pieces of factual information, such as stating that the concert that night was cancelled and that at Friday’s performance, Ms. Swift farted into a microphone, which was reportedly followed by an eight-minute standing ovation. 

“As we all know, Saturday’s show went on as scheduled and Taylor Swift would never, ever fart into a microphone,” said Suzzie Suzzz, one of the firm’s litigators. “And if she did, the standing ovation would last longer than eight minutes. A LOT longer!”

In light of these disputed claims, the firm announced their intent on behalf of Ms. Swift to “sue the shit out of” TNF, seeking damages in the sum of “every lousy nickel you hacks have ever pocketed.”

Tampa News Force plans to aggressively defend against this frivolous lawsuit, which amounts to nothing less than an attack on the First Amendment to the Constitution of the United States of America, using every resource at our disposal and never giving up for the sake of freedom-loving citizens of this great land everywhere and will issue no further statements at this time.