Tampa woman does her part to ruin the planet

Nancy Bennefurk of Tampa helped make Earth slightly less livable the other day when she just chucked an empty water bottle out of the window of her car as she drove through downtown.

“What’s the big deal? The world is a toilet. Our food is loaded with poison. There are unhoused people roaming around everywhere downtown. I used to be a tree hugger but obviously nothing matters. I don’t think the one time I drop a bottle on the ground is going to tip any grand ‘quality of life’ scales,” she said. “If it bothers you so much, I’ll go back and get it.”

The fact that she was drinking water sourced from springs, underground aquifers, lakes and rivers and placed in a plastic bottle by a global corporation means she never really gave much of a shit about the planet, in spite of her claims and justifications.