Tampa Woman Spreads Falsehood

Tampa’s Jessiker Stecler is regretting an interaction she had with a German tourist that she feels went poorly. 

“I was doing my morning walk on the Riverwalk when this German woman approached me,” she said. “I knew she was German because she talked funny. Like Hitler.”

“She asked me about the building behind me and I said, ‘OH! That’s the Sykes building!’ I then proceeded to tell her all about the building and the gardens and the architects and how it was based off the Fibonacci sequence.”

“It wasn’t until I got home later that I realized it’s not called the Sykes building anymore. The name came off a few years ago,” she said, anguished. “I told her a lie. I’m guilty of spreading false information to a foreign ally! I’m a bad American and I should be deported.”

“Don’t be silly. We don’t deport US citizens,” said a state department official.

However, she has been banished to an uncharted island in the Hillsborough River where she will spend the rest of her life not talking to anyone.