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Tampa woman stricken with AI Hands

AI Hands

Sheila Piddleston woke up the other morning with a strange new affliction: Artificial Intelligence (AI) Hands.

“I was messing around with a chatbot the other night because, well, because I’m lonely. That was pretty fun, but I logged off, went to bed, and then I woke up the next morning like… this!” she said, waving what looked like at least 20 fingers on three arms.

Conversational AI is the set of technologies behind automated messaging and speech-enabled applications that offer human-like interactions between computers and humans. It can communicate like a human by recognizing speech and text, understanding intent, deciphering different languages, and responding in a way that mimics human conversation. Generative AI can produce images on demand, based on billions of photos it finds already posted to the internet. However, many of those photos don’t display hands clearly and so it struggles to depict those appendages in an anatomically realistic manner.

“We really don’t know very much about AI, what it’s truly capable of and what potential impact it might have on humanity, but that hasn’t stopped us from messing around with it,” said Dr. Phil Notthatone, Sheila’s primary care physician. “But when has that ever stopped us from messing with anything?”

“Many of our greatest inventions are a result of somebody messing with something they shouldn’t have,” he continued. “Okay sure, people may be maimed and disfigured or even killed in the discovery process, but the end result is we get an oven that can heat soup in three minutes!”

Seriously concerned, Sheila immediately went to her doctor’s office.

“At first I laughed. I realize that wasn’t very professional, but I couldn’t help myself,” said Dr. Notthatonehe. Then I was horrified and I refused to touch her. And yes, I realize that wasn’t very professional either.”

“But in my defense, it is pretty funny and horrifying and I’m only human,” he added. “Which is more than I can say about Sheila at this point! Ha ha ha ha! Oops, I’m sorry. I’m having a tough day; my brother was recently killed in an unfortunate soup-heating accident.”

With no treatment options available yet for this condition, Sheila has no choice but to attempt to adapt to her new circumstances.

“I’m trying to find a bright side in this,” she said. “I would think I should be really good at playing piano now.”

Clark Brooks

About Clark Brooks

Senior Supreme Executive Premium Content Editor for Tampa News Force. Comedian, writer and ordained minister. Twitter: @ClarkBrooks | Instagram:@ClarkBrooks54