Terrorism becomes the hottest new trend of 2025

With a man driving into a crowd in New Orleans, and another man blowing up his cyber truck in Las Vegas, terrorism is having a renaissance in 2025.

“It’s only been 2 days and ‘terrorism’ is already the top trend on all socials.” Said Mayor Ritz Carlton, head of trend analytics at Googoo, a company that sells trend data.

“There’s been 2,000,000 impressions and over 16,000,000 engagements with posts mentioning terrorism, which is Beyonce-type numbers, so this is exciting for terrorists all over the world, now is the time to invest.” Raved Carlton.

Terrorism piquing as the new years trend is already having effects on the youth having 40% of grade school children citing “terrorism” as their career path of choice when they grow up.

“I originally wanted to be an influencer.” Said Vespa Manora, 7-year-old child at Magic Kingdom Elementary in Orlando, Florida.

“Then I wanted to be a professional Minecraft player. Then I wanted to do mukbangs and cinnamon challenges on Bigo Live for money, but now, I’m very sure, that I want to be a terrorist full time.” Manora shared with glee and a twinkle in his eye.

While some parents were originally hesitant to let their children pursue careers in terrorism, they’re quickly changing their minds.

“At first I didn’t think I wanted to enroll my child in terrorism classes, but I’m just so terrified of my child not liking me. I’m already on multiple vibe-stabilizing prescriptions to keep me from having violent mental breakdowns on a daily basis because I can’t seem to earn love from my child, so I just give them whatever they want and let them do whatever they want with my full support because I can’t handle them being mad at me.” Said Ethan Menendez, father of a 3-year-old who’s first words were, “I’m a terrorist,”

While it’s unclear how any money can be made from terrorism seeing as it’s a felony and will land you in prison for life assuming it’s not a suicidal attack,  people are skeptical on if the trend has longterm potential.

“Listen, when anything gets engagement like this, there is a path to monetization. What that is, we’re not exactly sure yet, but we literally cannot afford to let this trend pass by without investing in it.” Said Carlton.

“So if I were you, I would cash in all of my bitcoin and NFTs and put that money towards terrorism. How to do that? I really don’t know. But I would try to figure it out as quickly as possible.”