Tightest Kardashians Ranked

The Kardashian family has been in the limelight ever since that guy murdered his wife. As they’ve aged and flourished, the world has chomped at the bit, wondering, which of the family members have the tightest genitalia, and which have the loosest. We break it down here:

Tightest:

Kourtney Kardashian.

Kourtney has a slim, petite, frame, and has only pumped out a couple kids (I think) and she also has a relatively annoyed and uninterested attitude, meaning that her vagina must be good enough for her to get away with that persona. She is the tightest Kardashian.

Loosest: 

Genevieve Kardashian

Genevieve is the grandmother of the famous Kardashians that we’ve come to know. She was having sex back when the lineage was homed in the Ottoman Empire. She did not partake in tightening surgery that the other family members have undergone, so she’s let her body decay naturally with time. That does not mean she is any less attractive or less valuable than any of the other family members.

Verdict:

The Others

This brings us to the other family members which were not mentioned. Obviously I’m not going to list all of them and rank them in order of tightest to loosest. That would be rude and crude and this is a family publication. Children read this in waiting rooms of pediatricians. And it’s also not real. I have no proof about anything I’m saying, I don’t know any of these people and you should be ashamed for even being curious enough to read this article.

We’re all tight on the inside, regardless of how loose we may actually be.

Tightness is a mindset we should all strive for.

Go out and hug someone.

Love one another.

Get 15 minutes of sun and drink 2 liters of fresh water per day.

Hakuna Matada. What a wonderful thing.