Zillenial doesn’t recognize one single reference in American Pie

Tanner Brandan a 26-year-old he/him in Tampa doesn’t recognize any of the cultural references scattered liberally throughout Don MacLean’s 1971 song “American Pie”, rendering the nearly nine minutes-long classic hit irrelevant.

“Nope, none of those things mean anything to me,” he said while eating an avocado scone and drinking a kratom latte, making memes and listening ironically to classic rock at Long Strange Tripz, a coffee and hookah bar in Temple Terrace. “Sounds like nonsense.”

Bill Geathers, a baby boomer who owns the establishment and plays the music he likes unironically was incredulous.

“Buddy Holly? Bob Dylan? Pete Seeger? The Beatles? Joan Baez? Janis Joplin? James Dean? Mick Jagger? President Kennedy? The moon landing? Nothing?”, he asked.

“Ha ha! Who?,” replied Brandan, while adjusting his ponytail.

Geathers responded by sighing heavily and shaking his head sadly as he adjusted his ponytail.