6 Places in Tampa you can do whatever you want

6. Ocean

Drive out to Clearwater or St. Pete beach, swim a few miles into the ocean, and you’re now legally free to do whatever you want. In international waters, there are no laws, so you can freely do whatever your heart desires as long as you are in that neutral zone. Make sure you’re far enough into the ocean before you decide to do whatever you want, because if you do something illegal and you’re not the proper distance from the coast, they will just claim you committed crimes on the shoreline.

5. Prison

When you’re in prison you can do whatever you want, because there is no threat of punishment if you’re already being punished. It’s like that scene in the breakfast club where the guy gets more detention. He’s already in trouble! You can’t really get in double trouble. What are they going to do, give you two life-sentences? Physically we can only survive one lifetime, so what does it matter if you’re charged with more! Receive 100 life-sentences in prison and you will notice it won’t change your daily routine. Feel free to do whatever you want in prison, because if you’re already there, there’s no where else to send you.

4. Heaven

Similar to prison except all imaginable pleasures are now available. You’re there and you’re not going anywhere else, unless you choose to be reincarnated, so feel free to do whatever you want. While heaven may not technically be located in Tampa, the access to heaven can be from Tampa, so we’re including it on our list.

3. Sleep

Right from your home, being unconscious gives you access to do anything you could ever want. In a dream? Fly around the city. Break things. Take things. Whatever you want, you can do in your sleep with no consequences. No rules, no laws, just you and your subconscious completely free to indulge in every urge.

2. Video Games

Give in to every whim with the virtual infinity of video games. Be whoever you want, do whatever you want, no worldly consequences. Say whatever you want over a microphone to strangers, experience whatever your heart desires. Video games are truly an escape from responsibility and reality, which is why they come in at #2 on our list of places in Tampa to do whatever you want.

1. MacDintons Bathroom

Do whatever you want in here, nobody cares. As long as you brought enough to share and you tip the bathroom attendant you’re free to do whatever you want in here. Just kidding, we love you Mac Dittys. Can I have a free beer next time I come? And can I skip the line? Pleaseeee. I’d love you forever. Ok, let me know! I’ll check my email every few hours to see if you respond. You can reach me at john@tampanewsforce.com