Rick Scott Draws Inspiration from New Book

Senator Rick Scott of Florida says he feels newly inspired and reinvigorated by South Dakota Governor Kristi Noem’s controversial new book “No Going Back: The Truth on What’s Wrong with Politics and How We Move America Forward”.

“I haven’t read the actual book; it has a really long title and I did read most of that,” he admitted. 

“But I heard that it’s about killing dogs and that’s just a great idea,” he said. “Which is surprising because a woman came up with it.”

Scott went on to detail how he doesn’t like dogs because when they’re ordered to speak, they bark instead of saying something and he feels like they’re mocking him.

“Also, I firmly believe kids who enjoyed torturing insects with magnifying glasses grow up to be registered voters who enjoy shooting dogs and they are an underrepresented demographic of American voters who need someone to speak for them,” he added. “So Arf! Arf!”