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Is Taylor Swift racist?

Taylor Swift is known for her multiple #1 hit records, but recently with her past social media posts resurfacing, people are now asking, is Taylor Swift racist?

A tweet from Taylor Swift in 2006 reads, “What’s up with black people? Why are they so black?”

The tweet which doesn’t make sense or have any context has upset millions of her fans, while some continue to defend her.

“I think she’s allowed to ask questions like that, it’s not a big deal, she’s not racist.” Tweeted back Kaley Menendez in Swift’s defense.

“It’s a valid question, why are they so black?” Tweeted Pepper McCartney, also defending Taylor.

Alright, I’ll be honest, I haven’t written an article in like a month or so, I’m not sure why, I’ve just been busy doing stuff and focusing on other things. So it’s going to take me a second to get back into the swing of writing these things.

It’s like riding bike. Nobody likes it, but they have to do it, because the Papaya farm is only accessible through a thin dirt path which is 4 meters from the train station and there are no paved roads in the vicinity.

I used to think I was going to win a Pulitzer Prize, but these days it feels like I’m only going to win a poo-litzer prize.

Oh shit, my boss is walking by my office, I need to pretend I’m still writing about Taylor Swift.

Some fans are claiming ever since being spotted at the Super Bowl with Ice Spice, they’ve been having a lesbian affair and performing cunnilingus on each other multiple times a day.

“I like eating cooch, that’s why my song is called ‘munch’ it’s the noise I make when I pucker my lips on some pootie.” Said Ice Spice in response to the allegations.

Alright, my boss is gone, I could feel him lean over my shoulder, breathing on my neck, before patting me on the back and saying, “now that’s some steamy journalism, keep this up and you’ll be in a larger cubicle in no time.”

I hate my cubicle, it’s located directly above a steam grate which blows hot air up my suit pants every time a subway train speeds by below. I’ve been in this cubicle for 6 years now and they keep promising me, “you’ll get a nicer one when one of your Taylor Swift articles goes viral.” But I’ve been writing Taylor Swift articles almost 10 times a day for the last 6 years and even though they’ve literally all gone viral they still refuse to upgrade me to a nicer cubicle sans steam grate.

But who am I to complain, my sister runs a pasta shop in Gaza and she says inflation has been hitting them hard. Ever since the opening of the new 6 Flags theme park over there, everyone has been getting their spaghetti from there and not as my sisters shop. Her place is called Gaga’s Gaza Pasta Shop, named after her love of Lady Gaga. If you go to Google, it has 4 stars and over 1 million reviews which is great, but people are obsessed with the 6 Flags pasta flag which people can’t seem to shut up about.

They make a flag out of pasta with your name on it and apparently people are gaga for that.

Oh funny, I just said gaga and my sisters place is called gaga, haha, I guess gaga was on my mind there.

Anyways, I have a video of Taylor Swift saying the N word but I’ve been saving it as a last resort for when I finally go completely broke. I know it will be a lifesaver when I sell it to TMZ and keep me afloat for at least a few months, but I’m holding on to that for now as my last lifeline which I will use when everything else goes to shit.

I wonder if writing these articles with ever hinder my chances of achieving my dreams in the future?

Like I’ll get some opportunity on a legitimate production and then the day before I go to work they’ll say, “Oh, we actually found all of those nonsense articles you wrote and you’re actually too much of a liability to work with now because your literature could cause some outrage from customers.”

I like to believe that’s already happened and that’s why I’m still stuck here working this trash job. Ugh, golly, I wish I was higher up in the art world, but here I am, writing my lowly articles all by myself in this 3×3 cubicle, teetering above the steam grate. WHOOSH there goes another gust of hot sewer wind firing up my pant leg. Yowza. It’s just not fair you know?

But life’s not fair.

If I learned anything from my sister over in Gaza, it’s that, “you need to pay attention to the pasta water because if you have the stove too high it will boil over and melt the purple, neon, sparkly-speckled, nylon floor tiles, and those are expensive, I had to buy them in bulk because it was cheaper, but ultimately it was still very expensive.” I think about that quote maybe 5 times a day, usually when I’m pinching off a fat steamy loaf in the toilet.

Sorry I used the adjective “steamy” again, and I know you’re supposed to use a variety of vocabulary in your writings or people will think you’re uneducated and lazy.

Can you imagine anyone trying to have any sort of discourse over this article with me?

“That article’s not good!”

Do you understand anything going on here? How can you criticize something so abstract and genius when it’s lightyears beyond your puny comprehension of conceptual interpretation.

If you just start adding longer syllable words to arguments it makes you sound superior.

“Frankly, the juxtaposition of molten magma and utter disregard of perplexities is quintessentially English and municipal while remaining porous and inhibited.”

Like, see? That makes no sense at all, but if you say it out loud it makes you think for a second like you’re saying something of substance.

Anyways, good to be back writing again, and I’m not just saying that to fill space in  the article. Thanks for remaining loyal and by my side through thick and trim (not the correct phrase) and for always having my back (and front.)

I’m going to submit this piece of writing to multiple short story competitions across the globe and hope for the best.

Maybe if I mention the fact that I’m writing this with no arms or legs while also being blind and brain dead, the judges will be invested in my story more than my actual talent, kind of like America’s Got Talent.

It should be called America’s Got Trauma because Jeez-Louise they’ve got some deformed pathetic freaks on that show. That’s mean, I don’t really believe that, I was just exaggerating for effect.

The point is, there doesn’t always have to be a point, and sometimes things can be something just for the sake of being something. I believe that was the message of the “Drawn Together” movie. Go back and watch that movie and you’ll agree.

Go back and watch whatever you want.

Just go back.

Particularly to my sisters pasta shop.

In… Where was it again?

Oh yea, Gaza.

Am I allowed to say that?


Am I going to get my head cut off for even mentioning that place?

Some people believe inter-dimensional beings feed off our suffering and that’s why wars continue to happen. And I kind of like that idea. We don’t want to do war, we’re being forced to by the creatures that feed off our suffering and the only way to keep them from hurting is all is for us to choose a group of people in the world and cause them suffering to please the beasts to spare the rest of us. Just a thought. Goodnight.

John Jacobs

About John Jacobs

MTV Reality TV Star and Award-Winning Tampa News Force Correspondent. Subscribe to YouTube Channel, Follow on Twitter: @MaybachDiamonds Instagram: @MaybachDiamonds