Skip to content

Aides concerned about Rick Scott’s health as he doesn’t act like a dick

Senator Rick Scott (R-Fla.) took time out from his normal schedule of Tweeting, sending sternly-worded letters and very little else to appear with President Joe Biden at a press conference in Live Oak after surveying damage from Hurricane Idalia, an appearance at which Scott appeared to conduct himself with grace and dignity.

“Uh-oh, this isn’t good,” muttered one of his aides, clearly alarmed by the display.

“Can I just say something real quick about what the President has done? First off, the President did a great a job with the early declaration before the storm hit the coast. That was a big deal. It helped all these first responders,” Scott said “And then how fast you approved through FEMA the individual assistance, the public assistance… It was a big people deal. These are not rich communities. Many of them struggle… I want to thank you for doing that very quickly.”

“Oh no. He’s not only being civil to President Biden, he’s speaking empathetically on behalf of the poors,” said another aide of Scott’s. “He appears to be downright diplomatic! Have a team standing by.”

Yet another aide stepped to Scott’s side and said, “Senator, wouldn’t you like to take this opportunity to act like a creepy robot or lick your lips in some weird reptilian fashion or at least bug out your eyes?” Scott replied by staring back blankly for about 30 seconds, which was seen as a sign that whatever had affected him had passed. “Okay, that’s more like it. He’s going to be okay,” said a relieved staffer.

Physicians are expected to monitor Scott’s behavior for at least 72 hours to make sure this is not a sign of a worsening neurological condition.

Florida governor Ron DeSantis was unable to attend due to a prior commitment of being afraid of Joe Biden, Rick Scott and getting heckled like he was in Jacksonville last week.

Clark Brooks

About Clark Brooks

Senior Supreme Executive Premium Content Editor for Tampa News Force. Comedian, writer and ordained minister. Twitter: @ClarkBrooks | Instagram:@ClarkBrooks54